Having the conversation

Yes, I know it's ridiculously early to be talking about Christmas but Christmas spending can be ridiculous, so here goes.  

Over the last few years I've had "conversations" with quite a few of my friends.  Actually I chat with my friends a lot but here I'm talking about discussions about Christmas presents.  It's a conversation which needs to take place well before Christmas - December is much too late.

I think most adults have more fun giving than receiving.  For myself, I also have the pleasure of making things.  I sew. crochet, knit cook and papercraft most of my Christmas gifts and love to create throughout the year.  However, I am very aware that receiving a Christmas present may create the expectation that someone has to give a Christmas present in return and of similar value. 

What I mean about "the conversation" is agreeing to dial down Christmas presents between friends.  With some friends I have a cooking agreement - I'll make you a pudding, you make mince pies, that sort of thing.  That eases the pre Christmas cooking burden for both of us.  With others it's "let's have a special day out together after Christmas" so the generosity of Christmas is extended into the New Year.  For another I give something to a charity - this year one friend's loo will be twinned with a loo in Nigeria.  That gift is much more than I would normally spend on a Christmas present but it is also a contribution to a cause dear to my own heart, with a charity working in a country with which I have a personal connection.

Apart from the cooking, this doesn't save much money but it is a more thoughtful way of giving and is truly mindful.  

The faintest ink is more powerful than the strongest memory

I'm a great one for writing things down.  I record my energy usage on a daily basis. I check and note my weight and the number of steps I take.  And I write down every penny I spend.  

Each day I check my bank and credit card accounts and count the money in my purse and work out what has disappeared since yesterday and where it went.  I know a lot of people don't record their spending to this degree but I have found it helpful.  Maybe there will come a day when I trust myself enough not to have to be so "accountable" either.  The only person I am accountable to is me!

Once a month I create an account of all that I have spent and what I have done.  To use fashionable language, I have made myself much more mindful of where the pennies go

Before I retired, I was far less obsessive about it but I realised that I would have to be more careful now that I have a reduced income.  The amazing thing is that I feel as if I have an increased income.  It feels as though I have more money than ever I had!  I go out for lunch several times a month, I have a few mini-breaks each year and yet I never have to worry and I can save for treats or the inevitable rainy days.

Flylady used to have the acronym FACE - Financial Awareness Continually Empowers - maybe she still does.  Knowing what I've got and where what I had went to has certainly empowered me.  And writing it all down makes it even more real. The faintest ink is truly more powerful than the strongest memory.

Sam Vines boots

 

You probably know about boot theory: that people in poverty have to buy cheap products that need to be replaced repeatedly, proving more expensive in the long run than higher-priced items.  Put more simply it's buy cheap and you need to buy twice (or even more!).  I am able to set money aside to save me money long term, eg I bought an air fryer and thus save on energy costs, but others can't afford that investment.  

Although I try to be frugal, my frugality is by choice.  I have a fair income (state and occupational pensions) and my needs are modest.  I am aware that there are many who have to choose between heating and eating.  There are parents who go hungry to feed their children.  There are many for whom Christmas is a time to dread.  Frugality is not a choice but a life sentence. 

My frugality is about getting value for money rather than getting the cheapest possible.  It's also about avoiding waste as a matter of principle.  It's about mindfully using my money, possessions, skills and time.  

I take my hat off to those who have far less choices and still live a glorious life.